


I told you this wasn’t a good idea

by MalecHeline



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Big Brother Alec, Clary is definitely not straight either, Crush, F/F, F/M, Forensic pathologist Izzy, Found Family, Friends With Benefits, Hiding Their Relationship, Izzy is bisexual, Kissing, M/M, Magnus and Maia live together, Maia has a difficult past, Maia is sapphic, Maiabelle, Main theme is decisions, Sexist Comments, Trigger warnings will be added in description, Unrequited Love, cursing, marine biologist maia, talk about abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-07-08
Packaged: 2020-02-09 09:55:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18635809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MalecHeline/pseuds/MalecHeline
Summary: "The funny thing about decisions is you either regret them or you’re glad you made them, there is almost no in between. Sometimes you win and think back about the choice you made with glee, but how often do you look back and think where the hell did I go wrong? Well, that is a question Maia Roberts was asking herself right now. Where the hell did it go wrong?"Maia Roberts has been through so much in her fairly short life that she can't seem to be vulnerable with anyone. But what happens when someone catches her eye, but she's too stubborn to see some things are blossoming...Maiabelle friends with benefits fic.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello,
> 
> I'm usually not great at notes in general so this will mostly be me just ranting etc.  
> But Hi, I've been thinking about writing a story about Maia for soooo long and finally I did. Well, technically it's about Maiabelle or Mizzy as some call it, but it's in Maia's pov and will definitely be Maia centric. This was something I wanted to do after 3x14, where a very disturbing thing happened with Maia's storyline and I just needed to write me some good Maia. I hope this will be enjoyable and I hope people will like it. I know not a lot of people are going to read this, but like I said I mostly wrote this for me and a few people on twitter too. 
> 
> Trigger warnings will be added as we go and I will always put them in the notes. If you feel like I forgot one, please tell me!
> 
> For this one it's not many just: tw// mention of abuse  
> tw//mention of her relationship with Jordan even though his name isn't mentioned  
> tw//mention of sex
> 
> Thank you for giving this fic a chance and I hope you'll like it xx

_The funny thing about decisions is you either regret them or you’re glad you made them, there is almost no in between. Sometimes you win and think back about the choice you made with glee, but how often do you look back and think where the hell did I go wrong? Well, that is a question Maia Roberts was asking herself right now. Where the hell did it go wrong? She sat on the bench in front of the pond in the park. The wind was softly brushing through the trees and the melody that played seemed to soothe her a bit. She stared in front of her and thought about the things that happened in the last couple of months that got her right to where she was. She couldn’t help thinking about why she did what she did. Why she made herself so miserable when she could finally choose happiness. That question she can only answer herself, but let’s start by the beginning shall we?_

 

It was quite busy in Maia’s and Magnus’ shared apartment, considering they decided to invite their entire friend group to watch a movie. She was seated on one of the smaller chairs and just took the time to watch over all their friends with awe. Everyone seemed to be having some type of conversation except Alec and Magnus, they were just huddled up on a chair sharing looks, kisses and touches. Not that anyone could blame how in love they were, at times it was sickening, but at least they had finally found each other. Maia only wished she could end up like that someday, but instead she hadn’t had a long term relationship in what felt like years. She couldn’t really seem to care, considering what she went through in her last one and since then she just didn’t happen to be anything but casual with someone. The thought about opening up to someone and then be heartbroken in return, made a shiver run down her spine. So maybe it was best if she just wouldn’t even try, at least for now, at least until she felt at peace with being vulnerable again. It seemed better that way, anyway. Still….she couldn’t help but feel a little jealous at their relationship and yet glad to finally witness it. They were both so much happier these days and she wanted nothing more for them. They fit and this was probably their happy ending.

Her thoughts on the couple were interrupted when she heard Simon yelling at Jace for apparently not watching Lord of the Rings, which is also in her opinion kind of crazy. It’s a classic, a must watch movie. She smiled as the two seemed to be bickering, like they always were doing. Simon had been her friend for the last two years and they got along great, they tried to date in the beginning but it just didn’t work out so they broke up fairly quickly and decided to be what they were meant to be, friends. Jace on the other hand had been quite annoying in the beginning, his head had been too big and his ego was out of this world. She just couldn’t help but roll her eyes every damn time the dude had opened his mouth. Everything seemed to be about him, his hair or his looks, but somehow in these last months he grew on her. The cockiness was exchanged with kindness and loyalty. She knew she could count on Jace and his secret soft interior. It was just that he was a douchebag on the outside and maybe the fact that he looked very, and she meant very, punchable.

Maia was thrown out of her thoughts as someone slammed the front door shut. She looked over to see Izzy rushing in. Motor helm still on her head. She quickly took it off, shook her long wavy hear out, like the way you see in those romcoms. The long dark locks falling right into place, as they always did.  She hang up her jacket, wiped off the dirt on her jeans and perhaps looked like an angel descended from heaven. Or well, she also looked pretty badass. With knee high boots, a jean that fitted her perfectly and the fire red jacked she wore over it. Izzy’s hair always seemed so smooth and pretty, Maia dreamed away as she looked at it. Maia didn’t understand how… Her hair was always kind of frizzy because of her afro, so to see Izzy’s hair being all silky was a weird experience. She wasn’t jealous, per se, she would’ve been a couple years ago, but right now? Nah. Izzy’s hair was just so smooth to run her hands through.

“I’m so sorry I’m late, I was catching up on some assignment and didn’t watch the time,” Izzy uttered out when she strolled over to the living room where everyone was seated. That was right, not only was Izzy probably one of the hottest girls Maia’s ever met, she was also incredibly intelligent, she studied forensic pathology and was at the top of her class.

“Izzy’s late, nothing new I would say,” Jace teased and received a punch in the shoulder in response. When she walked past Alec and Magnus, she poked her brother in the cheek and crashed on the couch beside Clary. Clary was their best friend, she was literally everyone’s rock and would help anyone out. She could have quite the temper which suited her fire red hair, especially when someone had hurt one of them, but she was as cute as a button and wouldn’t really hurt a fly. At least not physically. But maybe she could throw a few punches here and there, now that Maia thought about it. She was studying art history and took extra lessons in creative writing, so she was kinda the creative nerd in the group. Maia loved her with whole her being and still didn’t understand how such a sweet heart could end up with a narcissistic guy like Jace, but they kinda did make a good pair, she thought. Clary was good for him and maybe Jace was good for her too. He seemed to really like her and that was a good start.

The only people who weren’t in college anymore were Magnus and Alec. Alec was working in a bookstore after getting his English degree, and well… he wasn’t really sure what the next stage in his life would be. And Magnus was working in a hospital together with his friend Catarina. Beautiful woman, smart mind, Maia’s mind supplied. Maia herself was busy studying Marine Biology, and honestly it was the most interesting subject to learn about. She always had had a fascination for the ocean and the creatures yet to be discovered in it, but she never thought she would actually get the opportunity to do what she loved all those years. She had only one guy to thank for that, Luke Garroway. One of the kindest, sweetest and most caring people she met. She met him when she was younger and living from day to day, paycheck to paycheck and apparently he saw something in her and took her under his wing. She was so lucky to be introduced to all these people she had surrounded herself with, because of him.  He honestly was the closest thing she had to a father and she couldn’t be more grateful for him.

“What are we watching?” Izzy asked as she settled on the couch with Clary’s arm around her.

“Well, the guys are arguing and they _had_ to decide what the movie would be,” Clary answered gesturing to the juvenile boys still fighting about lord of the rings.

“We could watch a romantic movie,” Magnus suggested as Alec snuggled further into his arms, but he grumbled at the suggestion, clearly not wanting to watch anything sappy that day.

“Noooo!” Jace yelled at Magnus. “Come on dude, we are not watching a chick flick!”

“What’s wrong with a chick flick?” Izzy said insulted.

“Yeah, Jace, what’s wrong with it? I recall watching one with you the other day!!” Clary chuckled. “That you picked out!”

“I did not watch a chick flick,” he defended himself when he saw Simon looking at him suggestively.

“Come Jacey, you can come out for it, it’s a safe space here,” Alec mumbled in Magnus’ neck.

“What did you say? I can’t hear you from where you’re snuggled in the neck of your boyfriend.”

“At least I have a boyfriend,” Alec muttered with a yawn. “You’re just stuck with the redhead.”

Clary threw Alec a glare and punched him in the shin, when Alec yelped she just stuck out her tongue, very maturely, in his direction. Alec didn’t seem to care and just smiled up at Magnus instead.

Maia watched the interaction with a bemused smile, not knowing why it made her all warm inside. Maybe it was because she finally felt like she had a family in all these years. Or maybe it was just one of those days. It still felt strange how some things just seem to work out, especially things she didn’t expect to. She could’ve never imagined that in a span of 3 years her life had changed so drastically. But yet here she was, enjoying life for the first time and having a sense of home with the people around her.

“Maia?” Izzy asked. When Maia looked up everyone seemed to be staring at her.

“Oh what?”

“I asked you what you wanted to watch.”

“Oh I don’t really mind anything as long as it’s not too gooey..”

“What about just watching a Disney movie?” Clary asked the group, but already heard groans from Simon and Jace. This was going to be a long discussion, that would probably take another hour before it was solved.

 

When the gang was still arguing about every possible movie in the world, Maia got up and decided to get something to drink. In the kitchen she exhaled quite deeply, she didn’t know why she felt this way all of the sudden. But she was just a little overwhelmed by all the emotions going through her head, it had probably something to do with school, she told herself. Life is just a little much sometimes.

“Hey, you okay?” she heard a smooth voice say. Maia turned around to see Izzy standing there in the doorway, watching her carefully, a hand on the doorway and her legs were crossed. She tried to seem casual, but it looked anything but.  

“I’m fine, Iz,” she tried to convince her.

“Are you sure? You seemed to space out back there.”

“Just needed a glass of water, don’t worry.” Maia raised the glass in her hands that was dripping some water droplets on her hand. She quickly wiped her hand dry on her ripped jeans and smiled at Izzy. She didn’t seem to want to leave anytime soon and walked over to Maia. She sat herself on the counter with an elegant push and grabbed a glass herself.

“You don’t have to stay here.”

“What if I want to?”

“Then you can.”

“Good,” Izzy stated as she raised her glass to her red stained lips.

“Do you think they’ve already picked a movie?” Maia joked.

“Honestly? No. They are not able to put their differences aside and pick a GODDAMN MOVIE,” Izzy yelled the last part so that they could hear her in the living room. “I’ve only been here for an half hour, how long have they been arguing for?”

“For about another half hour,” Maia chuckled. “How come you were late anyway, you live next door…” She raised her eyebrow towards Izzy and saw Izzy tuck her dark hair behind her ear, a mannerism she only did when she was nervous. But about what? Maia wondered.

“I actually had a date….” She admitted, with a smile grazing her lips. All of the sudden Maia’s throat closed a little and her mouth felt dry, and she couldn’t figure out why. She again took a sip of her water, waiting for it to glide down her throat smoothly

“It was a bust, really. The guy was a total jerk and said some very disturbing things. And well, you’re not at the right address with me if you act like that. So I left.” Maia felt a sense of relief when she said that, but shook herself out of it. Izzy deserved to be happy and go on awesome dates with awesome guys.. or girls, she thought.

“I’m sorry,” Maia said as she took a sip of her glass and looked at Izzy intently.

“Have you had any dates lately? I haven’t heard much.. about it.”

“Not really, lately it never gets past casual. And I’d like to keep that,” Maia admitted. “I don’t think I’m destined to have a relationship like Magnus and Alec. So casual it is and probably what it should be or at least what I want it to be.”

She looked at the kitchen cabinets when she spoke, but she thought she saw Isabelle close her eyes sharply in the corner of her eyes. Not sure what that was about.

“I’m gonna go back, ” she murmured and put her glass down. “See if they have stopped bickering like a married couple,” she chuckled nervously. She jumped off the counter and quickly walked out without saying much and Maia looked after her, not realizing what she had said. She downed her glass, wiped her mouth, put the glass in the dishwasher and walked out. Hoping they finally settled the argument and had started a movie.

 She walked over to the bickering twosome that were still grumbling. Sigh. But at least now someone has put on a dvd, yes their group still used them, and people, mostly Simon and Jace were bitter but had shut up. She looked over to where Izzy was now leaning against Alec, not meeting her eyes. She didn’t know what she had done wrong, maybe it was just a mood swing. She sat down in front of the couch leaning against Clary’s legs. Clary grabbed her hand and entwined their fingers. Maia couldn’t help but look in Izzy’s way, when she realized she was being watched her eyes went to Maia. Izzy couldn’t look away any quicker once their eyes locked. So it did have something to do with her, Maia thought. She shook off this feeling of guilt and decided to just watch the movie, she grabbed the popcorn bowl and put it in front of her. Giving some to Clary every now and then.

“I still wanted to watch lord of the rings,” Simon grumbled as he pointed at the screen which played one of the Avengers movie.

“Oh shut it Si, you love these films. Go sulk somewhere else,” Maia bit back with a smile directed towards him.

When the opening credits started to roll everyone was silent.

***

After most of the guests left Maia, Magnus and Alec were left to do the cleaning. Mostly Maia and Magnus though, Alec was almost sleeping on the couch, too exhausted from the day he had. Maia grabbed some of the bowls and stacked them away, put away the dvd’s, tried to clean up all the crumbs that had surrounded the table where the chips were displayed on and grabbed open bags to bring to the kitchen. On her way she silently kicked Alec in the shin on purpose just to have him wake up. He stirred softly and grumbled some.

“I thought you wanted to help clean this place?” she asked quite loudly.

“F off…” Alec sighed, moved his 6’3 body and turned his back to her.

“Does Magnus know his boyfriend is one of the laziest people?” Maia asked with a tease in her voice.

“Let me sleeeEeep,” Alec groaned and pulled a pillow to his head. Maia felt like she teased him enough and went to the kitchen where Magnus was doing the dishes that couldn’t fit into the dishwasher.

“You’re boyfriend is a lazy piece of shit,” she chuckled and jumped up on the counter just like Izzy had done before.

“Oh I know, but you must admit he’s pretty cute,” Magnus smiled at her.

“Eeehh… not really my type,” Maia joked, but quickly yelped when Magnus splashed some water on her. “What? I’m just not into gay guys, sorry.” She shrugged her shoulders and watched Magnus retreat the brush he was threatening her with.

“Hmm.. okay then, that seems fair.”

“So, how did you enjoy your night, aside from Alec being glued to you.”

“I happen to like Alec being glued to me, in more ways than one,” Magnus raised his brows suggestively and Maia already regretted asking.

“Too much information, Bane. I already have to suffer through our thin walls, please don’t _talk_ about your sex life….” Maia whined.

“I won’t, I won’t,” Magnus swore with a smirk on his face. “Just wait until you find someone…. How’s your dating life going by the way? Not that you would tell me if there was something to tell.”

“Why are you guys always hammering on me having a relationship?!” she asked with some heat in her voice. “I don’t have to be in a relationship to feel validated!”

Magnus was quite shocked by the sudden outburst. “Babe, babe!” he rushed out. “That’s not what I meant. Maia, I’m sorry I’m not trying to make you feel that way at all. I know that better than anyone. It’s just that I’m so happy with Alec right now and I wanted you to feel that happiness too. You deserve to be happy, Maia.”

“I know you didn’t mean it like that, but I just… I don’t know. I can be happy without anyone romantic in my life.”

“Of course you can.”

“And I don’t need someone to tell me I can’t.”

“I wasn’t trying too, I’m so sorry. It was just a lighthearted comment, I’m so sorry.” Magnus looked legitimately guilty as he started washing the dishes in front of him again. Maia could feel that he felt bad for what he said and climbed down the counter. She wrapped her arms around his middle and squeezed him tightly from the back.

“It’s fine, Magnus. I’m sorry for practically yelling at you, guess I’m just a little tired.” she sighed and moved over to stand next to him. Drying all the dishes Magnus had just cleaned.

“But that’s just it, isn’t it?” she remained on topic. “I don’t have an Alec. I don’t have someone that took my breath away the first time we touched, or someone who is gonna be there for me through thick and thin and all that bullshit.”

“Maybe if you started looking you might find something, or is that not what you want?”

“I don’t know maybe,” Maia seemed to hesitate before she said the next thing. “Maybe I’m just not meant to have that special someone. Or maybe I’m not going to be able to love…. Ever again.” She looked away as her eyes teared up a bit, the moment felt too real and she wiped the tear with her pinky away. This was not something to cry over, she thought, not again.

“I can promise you, that you’ll find someone that will love you for who you were, are and will be. I can promise you that that pain you still feel, will go away eventually. You’re still young, babe. You just gotta wait for a little while. They’ll come. And they are going to knock your socks off!”

 

Maia knew she didn’t need anyone to live her life, but god was she waiting for that moment to finally arrive.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just another day in Maia's life, this time we'll see more of her work, living and school situation. And her bringing soup to a very sick Izzy: It's cute!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just wanted to mention that I really like writing this fic!! I like how I'm just writing this for a few people and myself, feels less pressuring to not make a mistake etc.   
> The trigger warnings that apply to this chapter:  
> tw// mention of harassment on the street (in this case maia) she's doing something a lot of girls do when walking home, alone  
> tw// mention of Maia hearing people say racist or sexist remarks (they are not really in here)  
> tw// mention of vomit  
> tw// this isn't really a trigger warning, but I sometimes find reading a fic where the character is in a bad mood depressing  
> tw// foul language, curse words  
> If I forgot anything please say so, I strongly believe in writing trigger warnings especially for the group I'm writing for and I usually find it very nice if someone writes them.

“You know what if you don’t want to behave, then I have to ask you to leave,” Maia said in a stern voice. One that she only used on the most annoying, stupid and frustrating customers ever. She had taken the night shift and she knew it was always a pain in the ass to deal with all the drunk customers, but wow this guy was pushing her buttons. He had threw one of the glasses on the floor, asked for his money back for the drink _he_ had spilled, had scolded Maia for not doing her job well enough and had cursed out the rest of the customers. So, all in all, the guy had to go!

“Wha?” he asked once he realized she was serious.

“Seriously get the fuck out!”

It was honestly so tiring to deal with these people, she loved bartending, but she had lost count to how many perverts had asked for her number, how many racists had cursed her out and how many douchebags wanted her to go home with them. It honestly wasn’t worth it sometimes. But the money was good, most of the customers were kind and gave great tips, especially if Magnus and Alec dropped by, and the reason she still hadn’t quit was because of the people she worked with. She always loved working with Gretel, Bat, Aline and Lily. But on days they didn’t have a shift, like this one, and when some boring ass Steve worked, she wanted the time to go as quickly as possible. After she pushed the guy carefully out of the bar, she grabbed one of the towels and cleaned up the spilled drinks on the floor. She carefully picked up the pieces of glass and cleaned it up as best as she could without accidentally cutting herself. Maia almost was pushed to the ground where she squatted to clean up the floor, by some drunk college girl who didn’t look where she was walking. She quickly got her balance back, without toppling to the ground. She got up, threw a mean glare to the blond girl who honestly looked like a clown with this much makeup on and walked behind the bar again. Waiting for the next dickhead to piss her off.

To say that Maia wasn’t in the best mood was an understatement. The night just took way too long and when it was almost time to close up, someone threw up on the pool table. Steve looked in her direction, with a look that said ‘I’m not cleaning that up’ and god damnit there was nobody else to do it. So she grabbed a mop, grabbed a bucket, filled it with water and as much soap as could fit without it overflowing and went to work. Normally she would’ve laughed at some of the drunk customers, enjoyed the company, but tonight they weren’t fun at all. Everyone was just yelling, being annoying and making terrible remarks. When the table was clean she put away her cleaning supplies with a disgusted face, why did she do this again? she asked herself. But honestly had no idea why.

 

After the bar was finally closed, she grabbed her bag put it over her shoulder, said goodbye to Steve and the manager, and walked out of there as soon as possible. Finally free from the awfulness that was that night. The moment the chilling air hit her face she felt refreshed, she was still in a very bad mood, but just the feel of fresh air blowing softly against her made her feel way better. She walked down the dark street to her car that was parked across from it. She tried to ignore the catcalls coming her way, and unconsciously squeezed the key between her fingers and her phone tighter in her hand. Once she was behind the wheel, safely in her car, she sighed in relief. Not realizing she was holding her breath this entire time. She started the car with ease and drove off. Maia put on some music, knowing how tired she was and how easily she could fall sleep right now. On her way she cursed at some idiot who wanted to cross the street as she was driving towards him, almost crashed her car against a tree, missed a stop sign and almost broke the outside mirror. She couldn’t care less as she parked it, slammed the door shut and walked towards the one thing she craved all night. Her bed.

 

Once in the apartment she tried to stay as silent as possible, knowing that on Fridays him and Alec slept at their apartment, even though their apartments were literally five feet away from each other. You see, Izzy and Alec’s apartment was literally next to theirs, they basically shared a balcony. Maia had offered to switch apartments and move in with Izzy instead, but apparently they weren’t ready for such a big step yet. But they do sleep at one or the other’s every single night, not being apart for a second, seems very logical. Whatever makes them happy, she thought. She cursed when she stumbled over a shoe on the ground. It was too dark to see anything and Alec was one sloppy mess sometimes. She threw the shoe with a glare to the wall, got off the ground, yes she literally fell to the ground, and walked over to her room. She closed the door with a thump, undressed, put on some well-deserved sweatpants and flopped down on her bed. Ooooh, it felt so good! She sighed as soon as she was getting comfortable, pulled her blanket all the way up and was ready to sleep the fucking night away, until she got a text.

 

**Izzy dizzy**

_Goodnight x_

03:20

 

Maia couldn’t help but let out a chuckle with a tiny smile printed on her face, her whole mood seemed to have brightened.

 

**Maia**

_What are you still doing up?_

03:21

 

**Izzy dizzy**

_Couldn’t sleep, and I heard you get in. How was work?_

03:21

**Maia**

_I’m never going to that place again, I had to clean up vomit, iz. VOMIT!!_

03:22

 

**Izzy dizzy**

_I’m sorry :(((_

03:22

 

**Maia**

_It’s fine, nothing I’m not used to. Goodnight Iz x_

03:22

 

**Izzy dizzy**

_Good night, Maia_

03:23

 

***

 

Maia groaned loudly as she was disturbed from her heavenly sleep. The sun was poking in her eyes and the light was even brighter than she expected. She blinked a few times, not being able to keep her eyes open for much longer. However the burning sun wasn’t the reason she woke up, it was the two lovestruck idiots chatting in the kitchen far too loudly. She quickly pushed one of her pillows over her ears to dampen the sound, but nothing seemed to work. Maia peeked her eye open to look at the clock.. she had had exactly 6 hours of sleep. She at least needed 9 to fully be ready for the day, but nooo Magnus had to ruin it for her. She grumbled once more and kicked the blankets off her body. She looked at herself in the mirror, her hair was sticking out in all places and her eyes were as droopy as she had expected. She pulled one of her more comfortable jerseys on, the one that almost reached her knees, grabbed some gymshorts, got one of her headbands, put it on and pushed her hair out of her face. Not wanting to deal with her hair today. She put on the most fluffiest socks she could find and walked over to the noise.

 

“Enjoying your morning, boys?” Maia asked sarcastically as she looked at the two with fake disdain in her eyes, while they were both preoccupied with a what seemed like a heavy make out.

“Maia! You’re awake,” Magnus yelled flustered, as he pushed Alec off of him and went over to the coffeemaker to make her some.

“Little hard to sleep while you two are making so much noise, isn’t it?” she glared at Magnus as he just continued to smile. She walked over to Alec who hadn’t said a word and was just leaning against the counter drinking his coffee.

“So you’re not going to say anything? No, ‘sorry oh beautiful Maia for waking you up when you only got in bed at three thirty’, no ‘I’m sorry you tripped over my ridiculously big shoes I left around the apartment’. Hmm? You two are lucky that I have such a late class today.” She was now standing across from Alec with her arms folded together.

“I’m sorry….” Alec grumbled into his mug. Maia rolled her eyes and punched him softly in the shoulder.

“I made sure when I came back that I was as silent as a mouse, so please be more considerate of me next time?” her eyes seemed to soften as she softly spoke.

Alec cleared up his throat put the mug next to him and pulled Maia in.   
“I’m sorry, we’ll be more quiet next time.”

“Good,” Maia grumbled a little with a smirk and pushed against Alec’s chest.

“I’m very sorry too,” Magnus said when he came to stand next to them. “But I did make you coffee and made you some breakfast, so can you forgive me?”

“Fine…” she sighed heavily and greedily grabbed the coffee, quickly taking the first sip. “Aaaah,” she let out satisfied. Magnus grabbed the plates with waffles from the counter and walked out of the kitchen towards the dining table, having Alec and Maia follow suit.

“So, how was work last night?” Magnus asked her once he took a sip from the steaming hot mug of coffee in front of him.

“It was the worst night, I’ve had in months,” Maia puffed out. “Everyone was getting on my nerves, were being hella drunk and I had to throw someone out just because he was acting like a dick, once again,” she rolled her eyes and put one of the still warm waffles on her plate. Reaching for some strawberries too.

“That does sound like a pretty shitty night,” Alec chimed in.

“The worst of it all was the fact that I had to clean up vomit, it was a blast!” Maia said with the biggest fake smile on her face. But she couldn’t help but wince thinking about that night.

“Why don’t you quit if you’re so miserable?” Alec asked as he reached over the table to grab the bottle of syrup.

“Because, the money is good and it isn’t _that_ bad, sometimes.. especially when you guys are there,” she smiled shyly as she happily bit into the waffle, savoring the taste on her tongue. “Oh my god, Magnus, this is amazing!” she moaned.

“Did you hear that babe? She loves us!” Magnus touched his heart with his palm and wiped a fake tear away.

“I knew she wasn’t as tough as she looked.”

“Uggh! You two are like the embarrassing parents I’ve never had,” she groaned and went to chug down her coffee.

“Hey, I’m not that old,” Magnus scoffed. “Well for the record, we love you too, baby,” Magnus chuckled as Maia threw one of her strawberries his way. Luckily he could catch it before the fruit would fall on the ground and get squashed.

“But you know what I mean, a lot of the time the place is filled with fun people, but last night was just… annoying,” Maia sighed as she took sip of her coffee again.

“I understand,” Alec nodded and looked at his phone. He quickly shoved some food in his mouth as he began to stand up from the table.

“Okay, I have to go. I have to check up on Iz, see if she feels any better.” Alec went to Magnus’ bedroom to grab his phone that was still being charged and grabbed a pair of jeans and a shirt as well.  

“Babe,” Magnus called out. “You can just leave that here you know that right?”

“Yeah I do,” Alec mumbled as he came closer. “But I don’t have any more clothes at mine at the moment.”

“For god’s sake people, you live five feet from each other!” Maia sighed as she began cleaning up after herself.

“We know!” Alec yelled. He leaned down to give Magnus a quick kiss on the cheek and murmured something in his ear Maia couldn’t quite make out. She didn’t know if she should be upset about that or not, seeing Magnus’ blush increasing on his cheeks.

“I love you,” they both said at the same time.   
“God you guys are disgusting!” Maia groaned with a smile from the kitchen as she put her dishes in the dishwasher.

“I hope Izzy feels better,” Magnus said to Alec. “Give her a kiss for me.”

“Will do,” Alec smiled, leaned down again and gave Magnus a kiss on his lips. “Bye Maia,” he yelled while passing her and left the apartment only for her to hear him get into his.

“Thank you for cleaning up Alec!” she yelled after him, rolling her eyes while she looked at the messy kitchen counter.

“Was Izzy sick?” Maia asked when Magnus started to clean up as well.

“Yeah she didn’t feel well yesterday, said she just had an off day.”

“Hmm.. she didn’t say,” Maia said worriedly.

“When did you talk to her?”

“Oh, she texted me when I got back from work. I just thought she had trouble sleeping. Hope she feels better soon.”

 

***

 

Maia felt tired, so incredibly tired today. She was still sleepy from, well… her lack of sleep and just wanted to crawl back in her bed. But she couldn’t. She had so much to do for school, things to study for and projects to finish. The deadlines were closing in and instead of seeming miles away they were waiting around the corner to jump her. Maybe that was a little bit too dramatic, but Maia couldn’t help it, she hated the stress that came with procrastinating. And yet… she still did it. Every. Single. Time. She should’ve learned her lesson by now, but why worry about tomorrow when you can focus on today. That quote works… up until those days of tomorrow were suddenly today and you didn’t do much to be prepared for them. So Maia was thinking about all the things she had to do in about two weeks while she walked down the street to her apartment with a bowl of soup for a sick Izzy.

The lecture she had had, was so boring and the only one she couldn’t stand. The teacher was dull and the stuff wasn’t that interesting, but yet she still came. Not really understanding why at the moment, so maybe she’ll skip next time. The chances were very high on that. Maia almost dropped the bowl she had in her hands, when some douchebag with a beanie bumped into her. ‘Sorry’ she heard him mumble, but decided it wasn’t worth the effort. She walked into the building and sighed heavily, finally arrived, she thought. She pushed open the door with the side of her arm walked in careful of the plastic bowl in her hand. The elevator was still broken, like always so she had to take the stairs. But today they felt specifically exhausting. She fumbled for her keys when she got to her apartment, opened the door and dropped her bags next to it. She took her phone out of her pocket as she walked in the room.

 

**Maia**

_Hey, you home, right?_

15:43

 

**Izzy dizzy**

_Yeah, what up?_

15:44

 

Maia didn’t respond and just grabbed the spare key from the hanger, soup still in hand, closed the door to her apartment and unlocked Izzy’s.

“Iz?” she called out and heard someone grumble from the bedroom. She untied her boots, put them next to the door, hang her leather jacket on the hanger. She slowly walked towards the noise and opened the door carefully.

“Hi,” she said softly to the wrapped up Izzy that was surrounded by tissues.

“Hi,” Izzy sighed as if it was the most tiring thing she ever said.

Maia walked further into the room and sat down on the edge of the bed, holding on to her bowl of soup.

“What are you doing in Alec’s room?” Maia asked, curiously looking around.

Izzy sat up and moved some of the huge comforter away, her cheeks were flushed, her nose was red and her always silky hair was tied in a messy bun with strands of hair coming out of it.

She sighed heavily once again before looking Maia in the eye. “You know Alec, he gets worried sometimes,” she began with a stuffy nose. “The window of my room still won’t open and two nights ago I had it so hot, Alec came into my room after I had moaned a little too much and had offered to switch rooms. Since he could just stay at Magnus’.”

“That’s so sweet,” Maia chuckled and reached out to give Izzy the bowl. “I brought this for you, thought you might want to have it.”

“Thank you, Maia,” Izzy smiled a little crookedly.

“It’s still hot I think.”

“You know you didn’t have to, right?” Izzy sniffled as she took the plastic cap from the bowl.

“Yeah, but I was walking there after class and thought why not. If it makes you feel better,” Maia looked down on the sweaty sheets and shuffled back a little.

“Sorry,” Izzy said apologetically.

“No worries.”

“How was class?” Izzy questioned as she started eating the soup.

“It was so boring, I wish I hadn’t gone…. But next semester we’re going to talk about how climate change has impacted all the creatures in the sea and how we as humans basically are destroying these beautiful species,  so that should be way more interesting than talking about how a crab processes it’s food. It was just so boring and I really wasted time to work on all my deadlines for a stupid class,” she concluded dramatically and threw herself on her back on the bed. “In the upcoming two weeks I have so much to doooo,” she whined.

Izzy rubbed her own face with her clammy hand and put the half eaten soup next to her on the nightstand.

“You don’t have to stay,” Izzy snuggled further into her comforter again. “Clary will drop by soon too, so it won’t be like I’m all alone.”

“But what if I want to. School can wait another day, I’ve been procrastinating so much, what’s one more day?” she said with confidence as Izzy looked at her with awe. “Do you want to watch something?”

Maybe she would regret not working on her projects later, but for now she just wanted some company and who would be better to accompany her than Izzy?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you liked it please comment or give me a kudo, they are very much appreciated!!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finals week, the worst fucking week in the history of weeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, hello!
> 
> This chapter is dedicated to all students that have to deal with exams! You're doing great sweetie!
> 
> Tw// (school) stress, a lot of it  
> Tw// I don't really know if this is triggering, but maia calls herself 'dumb' in this chapter  
> Tw// Implication of Jordan, or at least how her behaviour changed because of him

Maia was suffering, yes that was definitely the description she agreed with. She had too much on her plate and everything seemed to swirl into the other. Books were being thrown around, papers were thrown in the trash, words were thrown around and frustration was let out. Finals week, the worst fucking week in the history of weeks. That may be slightly dramatic, but it was true, at least to Maia. She had too much to do, too much to learn, too much to make and too little time. Always fun to have thrown away all those weeks when she could’ve done everything but didn’t cause the deadline was still too far away. Her procrastination was really bad and she just couldn’t make herself read a book of 400 pages!! But she had to, cause it was ‘recommended’ to read the entire thing if you wanted to pass the exam…… in other words, read this shit otherwise you have to do it all over again! And she didn’t want to, she _had_ to pass this semester, but knew that if she wanted to, she had to open a book and actually read what’s inside.

It just all seemed so difficult. Her mind was on a totally different road, as it was mindlessly scrolling through Insta. It was very difficult to keep being concentrated with all those distractions nearby. It also didn’t help that she did not remember a single thing she ‘learned’ all this time. She knew something must’ve stuck to her, but nothing came to mind. And it felt really bad. And somehow all of this turned into her not thinking she was good enough to do this, thinking she was just wasting Luke’s money and time by not being able to fucking write an essay… It always turned into that. She would be worried about getting her work done in time and she kept worrying and worrying until her mind cursed her out and said ‘I’m not doing this anymore, just figure something out yourself… or look at cat videos instead’. So she would even get less work done than what she expected. It was a vicious cycle, one she couldn’t break, one she couldn’t escape and one she experienced time and time again. It was just hard, Maia thought for the fifth time. Just hard.

Maia sighed very loudly and kicked off the blanket on her legs. She moved off of the couch, put the laptop that formerly sat on her lap, onto the coffee table and went to sit on the ground with her back to the couch. Papers that had been laying there were pushed aside and she let out one of the deepest sighs she ever experienced.. Maia Roberts did not want to do this, at all!

She knew she could logically text her classmate about some of the stuff or for tips, but they didn’t have that kind of bond yet. It would be asking for too much from her and Maia didn’t want that to be the case. She was the one who started too late, others were way smarter than her. Way more. She couldn’t help but think her classmates would’ve already be done with all of it in just a little over an hour, she wasn’t as good as them. She needed more time, more practice, maybe some more braincells, but whatever. She thought that she would’ve felt different once she settled and got more and more classes, but it was just so obvious that the rest of them were so much better than her. She just felt…. dumb, compared to them. She couldn’t even explain how all these assignments made her feel, but it wasn’t anything good… She wanted to cry, to give up, to scream, to throw her laptop out of the window, as she read more and more. She had no time left. Everything was going downhill, everything was going to be ruined, just because of her own laziness… She definitely felt stressed and was definitely not okay right now.

Maia looked at the screen in front of her again, the word count was only half of what she needed to have and it only made her more depressed. She closed her laptop shut and pushed one of the books off the table. She laid her head back on the couch and took a few deep breaths. She wanted to do this, this was her dream and her passion. She just had to get through these weeks, months, but why couldn't she cope?

“Hey you okay?” Magnus asked once he saw Maia moping on the ground.

“No,” she sighed with a pout. “Everything is too much, I’m a failure, everyone is way better than me and I’ll never get this assignment handed in in time… I’m screwed!” she whined.

“Whoa, let’s slow down a second okay?” Magnus asked as he strolled over towards her with a slight worried look on his face. He sat down next to her and let Maia rest her head on his shoulder.

“Let’s take this one thing at a time. 1. We could take a stroll outside so you could clear your head, you’ve been cooked up in here for hours on end, babe. 2. No you’re absolutely not. You’re Maia Roberts, you couldn’t be failure if you tried..3. They aren’t better than you, you got to have some faith in yourself honey, please! You’re one of the smartest people I know and I know _Izzy!”_

“Ughh,”Maia groaned. “She would have had it handed in already, but nooo I had to be stubborn and wait till the last minute,” she hit her face with her flat hand a little too hard and whined from the pain. “I’m done. Yup, I’m done. No more school, I’m gonna be a bartender forever.”

“That’s not what you want.”

“How do you know that? Maybe it’s been my lifelong dream,” Maia bit back. 

“Because this,” Magnus motioned towards the book that lay five feet away. “This is your lifelong dream and I won’t let you give it up just because of some deadlines. Babe, you’re smart, intelligent,” Magnus began but got interrupted by Maia.

“Those are the same things..” she glared.

“Hush child. Like I said, smart, intelligent, empowering, kindhearted, hardworking, logical, amazing, strong willed should I go on?”

“Please don’t,” Maia begged.

“Why do you think you can’t do this?” he asked.

“Because I don’t know how to get myself to do it…” she admitted.

“Now we’re getting somewhere, at least you stopped thinking that you’re not smart enough.”

“If you think that then you’re even more naive than I am..”

Magnus threw a glare her way and continued. “Should I look up ‘how to stop procrastinating’?”

“I already know the answer: just stop and get to work,” she chuckled self-deprecatingly.

“Why don’t you just call Clary or Izzy, see if they can help?”

“That’s not even a bad idea,” Maia suddenly said and straightened her back.

“I was going to suggest Simon as well, but he would just be talking the entire time, so maybe not.”

“No, that’s definitely a good idea!”

“Simon?” Magnus asked with a, what looked like, disgusted face. Maybe a better word would be utterly surprised.

“No! of course not, I’ll be annoyed within 2 minutes. I’m talking about Clary! She’s a great teacher! I’m gonna call her, thanks Magnus,” she stood up and kissed Magnus’ cheek before running off to her bedroom to make the call.

 

***

 

“Clary!” Maia exclaimed happily as she pulled Clary inside the apartment.

“So you needed some help?” She chuckled as she was pushed towards the living room, where a room full of papers, books and chaos was waiting for her.

“Sorry for the metaphorical and literal mess, but I’m in a crisis and my projects are due in two days,” Maia answered awkwardly. "And I also have two exams to prep for... and everything is just a mess!"

“I can see that, yeah,” Clary chuckled and looked at Maia with pity in her eyes.

“I’ve never procrastinated as much as I’ve done this time, and it’s eating me alive, so can you please please help me get some order?” Maia pleaded.

“How did you even let it get this much?” Clary sighed as she moved through the thrown around books and papers.

“I don’t know, it just did.”

“But I can help,” Clary smiled. “I’ll always help you.” She winked at Maia as she moved some papers around.

“You’re not used to this kind of mess with Jace?” Maia asked curiously.

“No, actually, he’s very VERY neat. It’s almost creepy,” she chuckled. “I’m sometimes more messy than him actually.”

“Really? Wouldn’t have guessed,” Maia walked over to her and started collecting loose papers as well. Trying to find the ones that went with each other. But most of them were just notes she made, that either made no sense, or were almost blank to the point there was only one sentence on them. Some were just crumpled up out of frustration, some were shredded and on some Maia had just written ‘Fuck my life’, a forever mood!

“I remember that girl with the cool denim skirt and leather jacket just studying in silence in the hunter’s moon, having everything in control, just being right on time with her assignments, you know being a good student," Clary joked. "Do you still remember her? Cause it seems like someone else has taken her place,” Clary joked.   

“I just lost control, I guess. Or something else..” Maia whispered and looked down at the ground once she was seated against the couch again.

“Hey,” Clary softly said grabbing her hand. “I didn’t mean to imply I liked this version any less or that losing control is a bad thing. I didn’t mean what you thought I meant, I’m sorry, Maia.” Clary got a little teary eyed as she realized what she implied. But Maia quickly brushed their shoulders together as if to say ‘it’s okay’.

“We just have to find the best rhythm for you again, for the new you,” Clary smiled. “And I will happily help you do that!”

“Thanks, Clary.”

“Any day!”

-

After cleaning up the living room _and_ Maia’s head, Clary helped Maia study by asking her questions, discussing the stuff and she wanted to quiz her at the end. They had been going at it for too long and Maia was maybe a little distracted. She smiled at her phone after she received a text from Izzy, joking about her having to study, but the phone was quickly snatched away by Clary.

“No! Study now, text later!” she scolded and pushed the book Maia had been holding back in her lap.

“But it’s Izzy,” Maia argued with a pout as if that would give her a pass.

“Izzy can wait. And if she really needs to speak with you she can just come over,” Clary stuck her tongue out when Maia glared at her once again. “Stop moaning and let’s do this!”

“Clar, we’ve been doing this for the past two hours without any breaks, can we please have one now?”

“Since when did you turn into such a baby?” Clary teased.

“Since someone took my phone away,” Maia grumbled and crossed her arms.

“Come on, it’s just one more chapter and then you can have your phone back,” Clary joked.

“You do know that this one chapter is about 50 pages long right?” Maia exclaimed exasperated. 

“It’s only 20, let’s not be dramatic okay?”

“I’ll be dramatic if I want to be,” Maia bit back softly.

“Come on, we’re almost done. The Maia I know wouldn’t turn down a challenge,” Clary chuckled, but stopped once she saw the look on Maia’s face.

“Okay fine, let’s do it!” Maia straightened her back and got back into the zone, but on one condition. “Can we invite Izzy over after?”

“Of course, but only if you think you’ll be okay with your deadline?” Clary asked.

“I think it’s gonna be okay,” Maia smiled. “With your help of course.”

“Of course,” Clary cockily said and Maia rolled her eyes at her.

Maia quickly send izzy one last text, before committing to studying again.

 

**Maia**

_Clary is making me study again, I’ll yell when you can come hang out ;)_

16:03  

 

***

 

Maia suddenly shook awake when she heard someone banging on her door. She lay next to big piles of papers, books and study material that were once again thrown all over the place. Clary would be so disappointed…. She rubbed at her half woken eyes and walked over to the sound confused. She stumbled a little while her bare feet were cold against the wooden floor. She grumbled and moaned as she opened the door, sighing heavily almost annoyed.

“Wha up?” she said tired when she saw who was at the door.

“Why aren’t you ready yet?” Luke asked with a hint of haste as he walked into the apartment with two coffees and a muffin.

“Wha you mean?” she asked concerned as she closed the door. She continued rubbing at her sleepy eyes, thinking that somehow doing that would wake her up more.

“Don’t you have an exam in about,” Luke looked at his watch seriously. “40 minutes?”

The way Maia’s face turned into one with terror in her eyes was almost comical. You almost saw her life flash through her eyes. All the bad decisions she made were all coming together to this point where she had slept through two of her alarms, three reminders and one phone call from Clary.  

“Shit!” she cursed and wanted to cry at that moment. She quickly sprinted through her apartment as she recalled some of the exam stuff in her head. Hoping that those study sessions with Clary would actually pay off. She wasn’t _very_ hopeful… She scanned her room looking for anything to wear, preferably comfortable. She opened all the drawers looking for something still a little decent to wear to school. She finally pulled a white top, blue jeans and a motor jacket out of her closet, got changed in what had to be a record, grabbed her shoes from the floor and stumbled back over to Luke. Who was still patiently waiting for Maia with two coffees and a muffin in his hand.

“What are you even doing here?” she asked, not quite hostile, but in a rush. She didn’t want him to feel rejected or uncared for, but she was soooo late right now. She gave him a quick smile, as to say thank you for waking me up, and frantically started looking for a hair tie, as she had no time to make her hair look even a little presentable that day. She quickly tied it together, creating this very tiny, but very cute bun in the back.

“Since it was your last exam this semester and the most important one, I wanted to wish you luck, kiddo.”

 She strolled back over to Luke, grabbed the coffee that he had picked out for her, took a bite out of the muffin of her and kissed him quickly on the cheek. Chewing it like there was no tomorrow, cause she knew she had to take one of the worst exams of her life. On practically no sleep, at least some coffee, barely any food and any knowledge. So maybe she was screwed…

“I’m so gonna fail,” she sighed out as she munched the muffin down.

“Definitely not!” Luke interjected her. “You’re incredibly smart and will kick ass!”

Maia huffed, which was not a good decision as she was almost choking in the next second on her muffin. She coughed very loudly as Luke stared patting her on the back, to get her to calm down.  

“Thanks,” she said hoarsely with barely any voice present.

“Maia I’m serious, you’re gonna do amazing! I just know it, I have faith in you.”

“Then you, Clary and Magnus are apparently the only ones,” she smiled sarcastically and put her books, papers and pens in her bag with a bit difficulty. It didn’t make the point she was trying to make, since already three people were rooting for her, but still. That didn’t mean in the least she was rooting for herself. If anything she was preparing herself for the worst. She quickly calculated if she had everything packed. Pen, check. ID, check. School pass, check! Wallet, check!

“What’s the time?” she asked Luke as she walked over to the kitchen to grab an apple and some bread, only for them to be shoved in her bag.

“10.35,” Luke replied.

“Then I better start running. Thanks for stopping by,” she walked over to him and gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. “And for the coffee and muffin of course.”

“Not for the pep talk?”

“It wasn’t very peppy,” Maia replied cheekily. “Needed a little more: ‘you got this, I believe in you’ bullshit.”

“You can do this, really Maia,” Luke looked down seriously and frowned when Maia rolled her eyes. She grabbed the book that was sprawled on the table and put it on her bag as she started to walk out of her apartment, Luke quickly grabbing his stuff and walking with her.

“Are you dropping by tonight? Clary is coming over to make dinner, you know father/daughter bonding. You want to join?”

“I wish I could,” Maia started as she locked up the apartment. “But I got a date.” .

“A date?” he asked curiously with a smile.

“Yeah,” she replied curtly. “With myself and a bag of chips…”

Luke rolled his eyes and glared at her, while pushing her shoulder away playfully.

“So, you’re not coming?” he asked.

“Nah, you have fun with Clary. You need some time, I’ll just hang out with Magnus and Alec or something,” Maia smiled.

“Okay then,” Luke leaned down and gave her a quick, but tight hug. “I love you and go kick some butt!”

“I’ll try,” Maia chuckled as she rapidly walked away. “No promises tho!” she called back.

And there she was on her way to one of her most important exams this year, while probably knowing barely anything about it. This was going to be a blast!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, please leave a kudo if you liked it. I'm in desperate need of more attention!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maia goes on a date that goes slightly *cough* awry, she finally chats with Aline and is invited to go dancing with Izzy. All to release some stress!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all,  
> I don't really have much to say, but I'm very happy about this chapter, i think. Not my best, but I like it! Hope you do too :) And maybe a little something, something happens ;)
> 
> TW//  
> Mention of Jordan, his name and his actions are mentioned but not desriptively  
> Mention of assault or abuse, it's not thoroughly mentioned but more referred to or indicated  
> Mention of harassment on the street, Maia feels weird walking in the city at night  
> Alcohol, lots of alcohol this chapter, so if you're sensitive to this be careful  
> Sexist comments, the guy Maia goes out with says a sexist thing  
> Cursing
> 
> If I've forgotten any trigger warnings or if you seen anything wrong with this chapter, please tell me on here or on my twitter (@maiaheline) it's very important to me that people won't feel like I'm insensitive and that you can talk to me about anything wrong with the chapter. I'm very willing to take these kinds of feedback!

Maia had had a lot of awful nights in her life, some that were just plain boring, some that were embarrassing or some that were filled with an awful date.

Well, the latter she was having now. She had decided that after all her deadlines she should celebrate and this one guy in her class had asked her out a million times, but she never really felt anything for him. But she had taken him up on his offer anyway and was now regretting that decision….. _badly_. He had talked about himself the entire evening and didn’t even bother asking about her. What she did, what she wanted in life, how she was doing, nothing. He couldn’t even take a hint, Maia had been playing with her food, deeply sighing, going to the bathroom more times than she could count and rolled her eyes time and time again. The guy just didn’t notice and seemed as oblivious as ever. But the moment she was so done, was right when he said:

“My ex-girlfriend didn’t want to quit her job for me, she was so selfish.” Yes, that was literally what he said. The sexist piece of shit who had been staring at the waitress’ breasts all night, said he thought his girlfriend had been selfish because she wouldn’t quit for him.

 “Excuse me what?” Maia uttered out when she looked up from her food as the response ran through her head.

“My ex, she worked too much and well I said she didn’t have to anymore since she had me, but apparently that was not okay in her eyes,” he rambled on like he hadn’t just said the most disgusting thing. “I bought her all these things and what do I get, nothing, selfish bitch.”

Maia scrunched up her face in disgust and bit her lip in the process. She had two options for tonight. 1. Waiting for this date to be over, while just ignoring him all night, but she wouldn’t have to face the consequences of speaking out. Or 2. Throw her water in his face and storm out and he’ll probably curse at her and make a scene…hmm..

“But what about you, sweetheart?” he asked with the most sleezy tone.

Okay that was enough. Maia stood up from her chair while almost knocking his glass down when her knees hit the table. Grabbed her drink and threw it in his face, while he sputtered for words.

“Bitch!” he tried to yell incoherently.

“I think this date is over….” Maia said calmly as she smirked. “Sweetheart.” She threw her napkin at his face too, chuckling as it stuck to him cause of the water and stormed out with a smirk. When the waitress came up to her with her wineglass, she quickly downed it and gave it back.

“It’s on him,” she pointed to the table he was at. The waitress smiled at her knowingly and continued on her way.

 

***

So that most definitely sucked, Maia thought to herself. She always had this bad luck with just dating in general, either they weren’t compatible, they were totally different than she thought, or they were douchebags like that guy… She never seemed to have that special connection with someone, that she was desperately trying to find. It was hard at times, seeing all those lovey dovey couples around her, seeing how in sync they were, but yet she never seemed to have that type of feelings towards anyone…. At least not anymore. Yes, she has loved people, yes she has tried after him, but it all seemed so worthless and bleak. As if dating just wasn’t what it used to be like, or maybe she just changed. She definitely did change, she thought to herself as she sighed heavily and stared up at the starry sky. He had left a bad taste in her mouth about everything, about anything and she couldn’t get him out of her head. Even when she tried so hard.

She shook her head quickly as if that would make the voices stop and walked further down the street. It was dark out and the flickering streetlights weren’t doing her any favors. Maia pulled her skirt down, trying to hide her exposed legs and started walking closely to the shops and storefronts. Her phone was held tightly between her fingers and it made her somehow feel more at ease. Weird…. She reminded herself, very weird that something this small could make her feel much better.

She quickly scanned the area and figured it was fine, as she saw few people walking around, but nothing too strange. It always felt a little better knowing that people would be around if something were to happen. Maia didn’t used to be scared, she was carefree and well… most certainly wouldn’t be walking the streets alone at night, which thinking of it was a very bad decision. Now she did feel tough, felt as if the whole world couldn’t touch her sometimes cause she wouldn't let anyone come close, but still she felt so weak when walking around at moments like this, at places like this, at times like this. It felt weak knowing that you would be helpless at any given moment and she didn’t like that feeling. She would never admit this, but she always held her keys, if she had any, close to her and her emergency contacts on speed dial for any given moment. Nobody knew about that and Maia didn’t want anybody to know. She felt ashamed, like she was the one who would be at fault. Like she was the reason he did all those things to her. Nobody knew the full story, they just knew bits and pieces. She imagined what her life would be like if she actually had those people she has now, back then. How different she might have turned out.. but she felt grateful for at least getting to know them. Knowing they wanted her in their lives, wanted her to spend it with them. Something that still felt very odd and unnatural to her. 

It is cause of him, cause of…. Jordan, she spat out in her head. Six months, six months… she was picked and torn apart. She didn’t want to think about that every second of every day, especially at moments like these. But somehow she could always feel him crawling under her skin, ripping at her self-esteem or scaring her in the dark. Making every hair on her body stand up straight, every nerve on edge and making the muscles in her stomach twist.

Every single time she looked in the mirror she was reminded, she thought as she ran her hand down her neck scratching the huge scar situated there. She survived all that he did to her and yet she still felt jumpy when the lights on the streets were flickering and the sky was black. Maia was strong, but even strong women can feel weak, but she knew that that didn’t mean she was.... right?

Luckily she quickly walked up to a very familiar street with lots of light and lots of people she recognized and she felt a little safer, even though she still felt stressed. She just needed to let go tonight, to get rid of this feeling, of the reminder. And what better way to do that with, than with alcohol?

Probably multiple ways, but well getting drunk was fun and she needed some fun after having had so many stressed out days these couple of weeks. She knew Izzy would be out tonight, probably drinking with some friends or colleagues, and Maia already grabbed her phone and texted her.

 

**Maia**

_Hey are you in the city tonight? Need a little distraction.._

23:15

 

Maia quickly typed before she entered a very familiar bar, The Hunter’s Moon. Her place of work. She could’ve gone to any bar in the city, but she knew Aline would be working tonight and she needed some company. It was weird how lately she felt herself craving for someone’s presence, when a few years back she would love nothing more than to be alone. She always described herself as a lone wolf, someone that could handle anything on their own, but right now she was wondering if that was still true. She never was alone these days, either she was at work, in her apartment with Magnus and mostly Alec or with their friends. Even Luke came by from time to time. The only time she was ever alone was when she felt exhausted, tired from all the talking, interacting and socializing, and needed to recharge on her own, but even then she was still somehow chatting with Izzy on her phone.

“Tough night?” Maia quickly looked up from the stool she placed herself on and looked in the eyes of a smirking Aline.

“You could say that,” she chuckled dryly.

“Not a good night?” she asked and cleaned off the counter at the same time.

“To put it mildly,” Maia groaned and wrapped her dark, warm fingers around the cool glass. Letting some of the water dripple down on her fingers. “I had a date,” she gritted out.

“Oh wow, that bad of a date?” Aline sounded sympathetic and grabbed some of the change from another customer off the counter.

“Horrible date is a better word,” Maia sighed heavily and chugged down the drink in one go.

“Woah there babe. Must’ve been some guy,” Aline exclaimed.

“Why do you think it was a guy?” Maia asked.

“Girls usually don’t give you such a headache,” Aline chuckled and poured Maia another one.

“Then you haven’t met the girls I’ve been on dates with,” Maia said sarcastically after she took a sip of her drink. Scotch on the rocks, not really something she drank a lot, but it would do. Tonight anything would do.

“Guess not, but you gotta admit only guys can make you want to drink the entire night away….” Aline winked at a girl that was looking her direction at that given moment.

“Like you know anything about that,” Maia raised her eyebrow and Aline, very maturely, stuck out her tongue. The girl not looking at her anymore, luckily.  

“Guess I’m lucky,” she teased and threw the towel she had been cleaning the bar with over her shoulder.  

“But yeah it was a guy, a very idiotic guy. And I honestly don’t know why I even said yes to him. Hope he’s dried up by now,” Maia smirked down to her hands that were fiddling with the glass. She raised it once again to her lips and felt the burn go softly through her throat.

“What?” Aline asked curiously as she leaned on her elbows, showing Maia she was interested.

“He made a remark, I threw my drink at him. Simple as that,” she stated.

“Ahaaa,” Aline murmured as she leaned back and walked over to a different customer to get them a drink.

“You were very right though,” Maia said a little louder so Aline would hear.

“About what? I’m right very often,” she smiled fake, but amusingly.

“That men are the worst,” Maia decided.

“I don’t think those were my words…. Don’t want to be, you know, the men hating lesbian,” Aline muttered but smirked very quickly. “It’s true though.” Maia laughed and held her drink up for Aline to say cheers.

“The only ones I trust are Magnus, Alec, Simon, well kinda, he’s a little bit of an idiot, and Bat. Guess what they all have in common?”

“Bat is not, is he?” Aline asked curiously.

“You think he’s straight?!” Maia asked surprised with a whisper that was practically too loud to be called a whisper.

“I don’t know, can’t read the guy,” Aline shrugged.

“If you think he isn’t into men, you’re delusional!”

“What did you expect? I can’t even see when a girl is into me, don’t expect me to know if a guy isn’t straight!”

“Just so you know that girl that was checking you out earlier? Totally into you,” Maia teased.

Aline rolled her eyes and threw the towel at Maia. “I’m not that oblivious, I promise.”

“Uh uh.”

 “And btw I thought you were warming up to Jace?” Aline asked. “Considering he’s not on your ‘okay men’ list.”

“Maybe a little but he’s still Jace..” Maia drank up the rest of her drink and put the glass back on the table. “And he’s still straight.. at least I think so. He’s giving me some mixed signals lately.”

“Didn’t you once hook up with him though?” Aline’s brows were furrowed and she grabbed Maia’s empty glass with only ice left in it.

“That never happened. You hear me? That never happened. Clary doesn’t even know..” Maia looked a little guilty at that.

“It’s not like they were dating back then, so why does it bother you?”

“Because… she’s like my best friend and I tell her these things, shouldn’t I talk to her about me hooking up with her now boyfriend?”

“I don’t know, would it do any good?” Aline asked as she grabbed back the towel in front of Maia.

“Don’t think it would necessarily be a bad thing… but..” Maia was interrupted by her phone making a noise. She grabbed it and read the message displayed.

 

**Izzy dizzy**

_Hey, yeah I’m at pandemonium, Clary already left, but I’m still here. Wanna come?_

23:31

 

Maia smiled down on her phone and apparently Aline saw.

“Someone special?” she teased.

“Just Izzy.” Maia rolled her eyes and texted her back.

 

**Maia**

_Sure, I’ll be there in 15. Wait for me ;)_

23:32

 

“Already texting back?” Aline shook her head. “You don’t want to seem desperate do you?”

“What do you mean?” Maia asked a little confused.

“Nothing…”

“Don’t be so cryptic it’s not a good look on you.”

“I’m not being cryptic, I’m being coy,” Aline chuckled at Maia’s facial expression.

“Anyways,” Maia drawled out. “I gotta go meet Izzy.”

“So you’re dumping me for Iz?”

“Jup,” Maia seemed satisfied as she popped the p loudly.

“Are you sure that’s a decision you want to make?” Aline tried with a smirk on her face. “Your loss.”

“Bye Aline,” Maia said dramatically loud and stood up from her stool, walked out of the bar and was now on her way to Pandemonium, which wasn’t that far and she felt less exposed at the moment. So it seemed okay to walk alone at night again.

 

***

 

The club was quite crowded and Maia noticed some familiar faces while she was bumping against basically everyone to meet Izzy there. Izzy had given her some sort of coordinates to where she would be standing, but right now it looked like a maze. A maze full of people who blocked the way. Maia reached for her phone in her jean jacket and decided to text Izzy.

 

**Maia**

_Hey, I’m here. Where are you?_

23:50

 

Izzy probably wouldn’t answer considering how loud the club was, everyone seemed to be having fun, but were yelling at the same time. Maia desperately looked around to see if she saw a black haired girl, with…. She didn’t even know what Izzy was wearing. How should she be able to find her in that crowd. Luckily Maia’s phone buzzed with a message from the girl in question.

 

**Izzy dizzy**

_I’m walking over to the bar, think you can meet me there ;)_

23:53

 

**Maia**

_I think I can manage that_

23:54

 

“Heyy!!” Izzy called out when she saw Maia walking over. Izzy was wearing a red, skin tight dress, with high boots. Her hair was in a ponytail and you couldn’t miss the red lip she was wearing. Maia liked the color red on her, it looked absolutely gorgeous on her skin tone and beautiful with her dark locks. Izzy probably knew that too.

“Hi,” Maia smiled as she hugged Izzy close to her. She smiled as they both pulled back from the hug and was honestly relieved that Izzy wasn’t with someone else. She really just wanted to have fun with a friend instead of meeting new people. Her mood had shifted since talking to Aline, but she hadn’t yet shaken all her stress and that awful date away. She grabbed the drink next to Izzy, which was probably hers and downed it in one go. Not feeling anything yet, even though she was already four drinks in. She usually would be more effected by now, but tonight felt different, either that or it would kick in at a time when she didn’t need it.

“Rough night?” Maia was asked once again.

“Yeah, does it look like it?” she chuckled as she disposed the glass.

“Kinda. Didn’t you have a date?” Izzy asked confused and sipped on her wine.

“He…. was awful. God awful,” she yelled a little louder for Izzy to hear.

“Hmm. That sucks, but maybe next time?” Izzy replied sweetly.

“I don’t think I’m meant for love, Iz,” Maia tried to hide her voice, hoping that Izzy wouldn’t hear, but just as she said it Izzy leaned closer to listen.

“That’s not true,” she quickly shook her head in disagreement.

“It is,” Maia shrugged her shoulders.

“Maia..”

“I wanna get really drunk what do you say?”

Izzy sighed heavily, grabbed two shot glasses from the bar and gave one to Maia.

“I say: drink up!” Izzy smirked as she clunk their glasses.

But maybe that wasn't the right decision....

 

***

 

Maia's mind was fuzzy. She was slowly blinking open her eyes as the effects of alcohol were trying to break open her head. Her head was spinning, it was hurting so badly and her throat had never felt so dry. She was trying to think of where she was, but her eyes didn’t seem to want to focus. They were just blurry all around and even though she blinked multiple times she could still only see shadows. Once her brain tried to catch up with everything that happened, she finally realized why her chest felt so heavy. She stilled her movements instantly and breathed out deeply. Shit, she wanted to yell at herself. The heavy weight on her chest seemed to move a little around and Maia already knew she went home with someone, well not only someone, someone that had to be a girl based on her scent and perfume. Maia hadn’t yet looked down as she was thinking about the things that happened the night before. She couldn’t remember much, besides drinking, dancing, maybe kissing… she couldn’t quite imagine the face of the girl she had been dancing close to…. Maia didn’t know what hit her when finally her eyesight seemed normal and she looked down. The silky charcoal colored hair was something she would’ve recognized from miles away.

But no that couldn’t be.…

They wouldn’t have…

Right?

They probably just ended up drunk and fell asleep together. But something in her gut told her that that wasn’t the case. Maia looked carefully down her sheets and yes, she was completely naked, from the tips of her toes to the curve of her neck.

She was naked under the sheets, with a very naked Isabelle Lightwood next to her still asleep.

 

Well….  Fuck!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you liked it please leave me a comment or a kudo, you can also follow me on Twitter (@maiaheline)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "So uhm…” Izzy started.  
> “Yes.”  
> “That’s something, we haven’t…. uhm… before.”  
> “Definitely something we haven’t done before,” Maia replied in the same tone as they were both staring ahead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, I'm back with a new chapter, not that anyone was waiting for it.... but I still am!
> 
>  
> 
> Tw//  
> Maia and Izzy have some sexual interactions, kissing, bras, touching etc.  
> Alcohol  
> Tiny bit of talk about nonconsensual sex (Maia thinks Izzy thinks she regrets it) they do give each other consent during the scene (both sides)

“So uhm…” Izzy started.

“Yes.”

“That’s something, we haven’t…. uhm… before.”

“Definitely something we haven’t done before,” Maia replied in the same tone as they were both staring ahead. They were lying in bed with both of their hands holding the blanket covering their chests. When Izzy had woken up with a smile, it had quickly turned into a shocked look. She had quickly moved to the other side of the bed and wrapped the comforter firmly around her, as did Maia. So now they were just trying to think of words to say, without making it too awkward, which would be barely possible since it was as awkward as it could be Maia thought.

“So a butterfly tattoo, huh?”

“Yep..” Maia responded a little uncomfortably.

“Do you…,” They both said at the same time.

“You first,” Maia motioned to Izzy without looking her in the eye.

“Should we, I don’t know, talk about it?” Izzy decided to say.

“Is that the best idea?” Maia frowned and looked at Izzy, her head held sideways.

“You have a better one?” It was Izzy’s turn to look at Maia then.

“Not really. We can just ignore it?” Maia decided to throw in.

“We could, but things would be weird between us then right?”

“I don’t know would they? We can just pretend it never happened,” Maia blinked up at Izzy whose frown definitely increased by her statement.

“I th-“ Izzy was quickly interrupted by a voice calling Maia from outside of her room.

“Maia you here?” Magnus called again when he didn’t get an answer.

“Shit,” Maia hissed at Izzy, quickly getting out of bed, but at the same time forgetting she was wearing, well…. nothing. She ran over to her closet and pulled out some oversized sweatshirt. She quickly pulled it over her messy hair and turned around. Only to catch Izzy watching her.

“Don’t look!” she yelled in a whisper tone.

“What? You look good, can’t help it,” she smirked as her eyes trailed back up.

“Stop that!” Maia exclaimed.

“Maia you okay?” Magnus called again, clearly impatient as to why he hadn’t had received an answer. “Can I come in?”

“Nooo!” she yelled in a panic, he eyes flitted over to Izzy who seemed to be in a shock as well. “I’m naked!” she shrugged her arms when Izzy gave her a weird look.

“What was I supposed to say?!” she whisper yelled.

“Oh okay, then can you come out soon. I need to ask you something,” Magnus replied.

“o-okay,” she stumbled out. “I’ll be there in a minute!”

When she heard Magnus actually walk away from the door she quickly turned her attention back on the still very naked Izzy in her bed.

“You need to be very quiet okay? Nobody can know that you’re here, nobody can find out, Iz. Okay?” Maia seemed a little distressed as she moved around the room picking up Izzy’s clothing and throwing it on the bed for her. A red lace bra was hanging on the back of her chair, and she honestly did not know how that got there, but she flung it in Izzy’s direction anyway.

“Right,” Izzy said very curtly as if she had to swallow a lump in her throat. She reached for her bra and panties and quickly put them back on under the blanket. The same way you did at sleepovers when you didn’t want anybody to see you changing, so you just did it under the covers.

“I’m gonna go talk to Magnus, while you get dressed. Don’t worry, I’ll find a way for you to get out of here without anybody seeing you,” Maia said and started opening the door slightly and pushed her body through. Maia looked back at the closed door shortly, she sighed and started walking towards the living room where Magnus had apparently something very important to tell her.

*** 

“Hey,” she said absently while again looking at the closed door. She wrapped her arms around her and stood a little uncomfortably in front of Magnus.

“You okay?” Magnus raised his eyebrows as he looked at how she was standing.

“Yeah.. fine,” she huffed out and looked around the room. “What did you want to ask me?”

Maia decided to get straight to the point, she just didn’t want to cause any suspicion with Magnus. He could read her like a book with all capital letters, he knew when she had hooked up with Jace, when she had had her first kiss with a girl, practically anything. But this time he couldn’t know. He just couldn’t, she didn’t really have an explanation why. But she just knew that he couldn’t know. He would say things, that would mess with her head, that would make her second guess every situation ever and right now with ….

She couldn’t handle that. She needed to keep a focused mind and thinking about it all too much, would be… too much.

“Right,” Magnus had coughed. “uhm…” Magnus looked like he wanted to ask something, but didn’t have the courage to. “I was wondering if,” he had looked out of the right side of his corner. “If you wanted to have dinner with me tonight?” That was definitely not what Magnus was going to ask, she thought to herself.

“Uh.. yeah, sure. That’s it?” she questioned.

“Yep. Sorry if I woke you up because of it,” he smiled a little too fake for Maia’s liking, but she decided to let it slide and move back to her room. She opened the door carefully without showing what’s inside and slid through it.

“Izzy?” she called softly, trying not to shout. She looked through her room, checked the bathroom and no Izzy there. Her clothes were gone and Maia almost thought she imagined the entire thing. She walked back into her bedroom and noticed her balcony doors being open, when she swore she had them closed….. damn. She walked over to the edge and looked at Alec and Izzy’s door being slightly open as well. Okay then, she sighed and slipped back into her room. Izzy and Maia, but also Magnus and Alec had used their balcony to come over to the other’s apartment so many times. It was almost one balcony and if you moved your leg to the other, you practically could climb right over. It was almost too easy, but neither parties minded. Maybe Maia minded at this particular moment though. She closed the door behind her and fell down on the bed with a heavy sigh coming from her mouth. She rubbed at her face and combed through her hair erratically.

“Fuck,” she let the curse slip past her lips. This was not how she imagined this morning going or how she thought she would fuck up her relationship with Izzy…. Fuck, indeed. 

 

***

Maia rolled her eyes back as the memories of the night started to reappear in her mind. One after the other. The feeling of Izzy pressed against her side, her tongue past her lips, her mouth on her neck, her fingers teasing across her legs… she almost moaned at the memory of the night.

 

_“Wanna dance?” Maia slurred after the seventh drink she had that night. It did help her feel more at ease tonight and she felt way less stressed, which was a win on itself._

_“Sure,” Izzy smiled back and put her shot glass on the counter for the bartender to clean up. She was a little shaky on her legs, but nothing concerning. She brushed her hair out of her face with one movement and grabbed Maia’s hand. They walked toward the crowd, where literally hundreds of young people were dancing quite provocatively against one another. Maia looked at a blond girl that was shaking her hips against a short guy, at least he seemed to be enjoying himself she chuckled to herself. She looked at a few more people here and there, to see if she could see herself making out with any of them. But nobody could compete with the woman that was still carefully holding her hand and by who she was getting dragged through the crowd. Nobody could ever have a body like Izzy’s, a smile like Izzy’s, hair like Izzy’s. Nobody came even close to being as attractive as her. She caught her gaze slipping a little lower, but quickly was caught by Izzy turning around when she found a spot to dance. She had a knowing look on her face, maybe a tiny smirk appeared and she seemed so confident tonight. Even more than usual. Maybe it was the drinks they both had or whatever, but Maia could swear she felt a little tension between the two. She couldn’t wait to hold Izzy as close as possible._

_They both started moving to the rhythm of the music and kept swaying with other people as well, having fun, just dancing. Maia’s eyes weren’t searching Izzy’s for the sole reason of not wanting things to get awkward. Yes, she looked at Izzy’s body moving or at the floor or other people in the crowd, but she didn’t look at Izzy, not knowing what were to happen if she did. Maia was delightfully buzzed and her sight became a little blurrier, but when she felt someone touch her hip she clearly felt it. She looked up to the person and realized it was only Izzy, a sigh of relief escaped her lips, but her head only started to spin more when Izzy came closer and wrapped a hand around her waist, closing the tiny distance between them. Maia stepped closer and pressed up against her. They had never been this close before, but Maia couldn’t say she minded. Definitely not in the moment. Izzy started moving her hips to the beat and it all seemed so effortless to her, but considering her Latina roots it did not surprise Maia in the least. All though Alec was a whole disaster when it came to dancing, so maybe he had inherited his rhythm from Robert and not Maryse. But Maia started swaying with her, bumping her chest up at the beat of the music. Going up and down in sync with Izzy. The movement started to become more and more intense as the music changed songs. One minute they were dancing just close to each other, moving with other people as well and the next they were chest to chest moving only together to the beat. Hips swaying, hands exploring and eyes still avoiding each other._

_They swayed for a few more moments, just moving alongside each other, sometimes glancing at the other, but suddenly stopped. The music was interrupted by some sort of speech but all Maia could think of was Izzy’s red lips that looked so beautiful in the lights of the club. Her hair glistened and when Izzy caught Maia staring she bit her lip. Maia’s brain was thinking of all the possible things to do right now, but none of them sounded rational. None of them were anything other than what she wanted. In the moment, at least that’s what she thought, only what she wanted to do in this moment. As the music started back up again, Izzy wanted to walk away to probably grab another drink, but Maia wouldn’t let her. She wrapped her hands around her pulse and crashed them together once again. Maia didn’t let any thought enter her mind and moved closer. She looked into Izzy’s eyes to know if it was okay, the hesitance she had before was exchanged with want. She took a deep breath as Maia closed the distance. Her lips started gently caressing Izzy’s and what started off as a closemouthed heat of the moment kiss was soon turned into a heavy make out with both sets of lips exploring the other. Maia moaned from the sensation of her tongue caressing Izzy’s and she started really really enjoying the kiss. Her hands moved down to Izzy’s hips and Izzy cupped her face in her hands delicately._

Maia groaned as she remembered how good that kiss was, she touched her lips and could almost feel Izzy’s. The next few moments had been going by in a blur…

_Leaving the club_

_Walking home hastily_

_Fumbling with the door_

_Shushing each other for being too loud_

_Stumbling on some shoes while trying to pull each other’s clothes off_

_Opening the bedroom door_

_Pushing Izzy on the bed_

_Seeing her bra_

_Kissing her on the mouth_

_“Are you sure about this?” Izzy whispered as Maia started to pepper kisses across her toned stomach. Maia with her buzzed brain ignored her and started to kiss even lower than her belly button, moving her hands along with her._

_“Maia!” Izzy almost yelled, but it was still so soft. She just needed to know._

_Maia looked up at her eyes and smirked, she shoved her hair softly to the side and said:  “Yes I’m sure. Are you?”_

_“You have no idea,” Izzy flirted, pulled Maia up again and almost ripped off the shirt she was wearing. Exposing the dark scarred skin underneath. Izzy gasped as she saw Maia’s delicate skin filled with horrible memories. She didn’t say anything, just softly caressed them with her fingers. Slowly moving over them. Maia looked at her through hooded eyes, but didn’t want her to be this gentle, so she grabbed Izzy’s hand. Entwining her fingers with Izzy’s, who unfortunately had long nails that day. “You weren’t expecting this?” she chuckled as she looked at the red nails._

_“I was never expecting this.”_

_“I don’t mean with me, but with anyone?” Maia further questioned._

_“Didn’t came tonight to have sex.”_

_“Then why did you?”_

_Izzy didn’t answer and softly pushed Maia off her lap, it seemed like she wanted to talk._

_“Maybe we shouldn’t we’re both very drunk and…” she started off._

_“Can have fun.”_

_“Yes, but what if you’re going to…” Izzy didn’t finish her sentence, fairly sure Maia would understand anyway._

_“Regret this?”_

_“Yes, what if you’re going to regret this?”_

_“Never in a million years,” Maia sighed as she closed the gap and kissed Izzy again. She pulled her down on the bed again, and sighed into the kiss. Practically now laying on top of Izzy, grounding her to the bed. Their lips and tongues sliding together perfectly and Maia almost didn’t want to stop. But she did as she needed to ask something too.  “You want this too, right?” It was a wonder she could still think this reasonable when drunk, but she had never been more happy she could._

_“Yes,” Izzy breathed out. “I do.”_

_“Good,” Maia sighed in relieve and started pressing soft tightlipped kisses in the crook of Izzy’s neck, that soon turned into open mouthed ones. As Izzy moaned, Maia smirked and got even bolder. She licked a long stripe from the base of her neck to her ear and Izzy just melted away. Izzy clawed at Maia’s back, positive it would leave some marks, and fumbled with the clasp on her bra._

_“What do you want?” Maia panted._

_“You,” Izzy’s voice sounded rough and she hooked one of her legs around Maia and turned them around so she was on top now. “All I want is you.” Maia smiled at the other, tucked some of Izzy’s hair behind her ear, and pulled her further on top of her. Closer like they’ve ever been before._

Maia wanted to yell and scream after thinking about what she said. _I won’t regret this._ And now, after basically kicking Izzy out, she wasn't sure if Izzy still knew that. FUCKKKKK. Maia sighed deeply, pulled her pillow over her head and screamed into it, grabbed her phone from the nightstand after and typed in Izzy’s number. She had to at least fix this somehow.

**Maia**

_I don’t regret it, Izzy. I don’t want you to think I did, not after…. I’m sorry Izzy, I didn’t mean for you to leave. I didn’t want you to, I promise, I just freaked out…_

9:56

She quickly send the message off and waited for a response, anything at this point. She had literally driven Izzy out of her bedroom, hell, apartment. Why did she always make the wrong decisions and say the wrong things….She closed her eyes for a minute, trying to make all the images stop spiraling in her head for one second, when she got a notification.

 

**Izzy dizzy**

_It’s fine I just thought I should give you some privacy, that’s all_

9:59

Why did Izzy have to be so reasonable, why did she have to be the sweetest and most forgiving person ever. Maia wanted to yell at herself for letting this happen and not thinking of the consequences to some degree. Yes, you can’t really decide what your drunk brain does and she was happy with at least some decisions she made last night, but your sober brain has to be a little more thoughtful too. Right now, she was sure her drunk brain would've handled this situation a lot better, than sober Maia ever could. Yup, she decided, she was going to beat herself up for this, wasn’t she?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you liked it please leave a comment or kudo!

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked it, please leave a comment or kudo. Really appreciate them!


End file.
